Today we’ll be looking at what activities have made their way back in the latest installment of Saints Row. While this rundown of returning activities may not interest long-time fans, I must encourage you to read on as even some of the old side-missions have received some gameplay/mechanic updates. Check them out:
Insurance Fraud
Saints Row: The Third takes a classic and an all-time favorite and adds a new twist. What better way to earn cash than to fling yourself into oncoming cars? Money is the goal as usual. In order to make more of it, you’ll have to throw your Saint into some painful situations. Just activate the ragdoll while running to toss your character in that direction. This works best when multiple cars are speeding toward you. As cars slam into you from every angle, you’ll start filling an Adrenaline meter. Once full, it can be activated to produce an effect much like Burnout’s aftertouch mechanic. You’ll be able to control your character midair to chain as many cars together as possible before the meter runs out. This will ensure maximum cash.
Trail Blazing
Trail Blazing may not be new, but it now encompasses two activities. The first one has you wearing a flame-retardant suit while riding a flaming ATV. The objective is to race the clock by hitting every checkpoint until you reach the end. Unlike the normal gameplay, hitting vehicles doesn’t slow you down. In fact, you’ll barrel straight through them without losing speed and you’ll even gain time bonuses in the process. The new variation of Trail Blazing throws you into cyberspace. The flaming ATV is traded out for a Tron-esque bike. Avoid the firewalls as they will deduct time, but be sure to hit the virtual tanks since that is your only source of additional time.
Heli Assault
Get used to protecting the other Saints because you’ll be doing a lot of it if you haven’t noticed. Luckily, Saints Row: The Third knows how to keep the experience fresh. As your accomplice makes stops around Steelport, you’ll be expected to provide support using an attack helicopter. The military-grade chopper is outfitted with two weapons: miniguns and homing rockets. Given that both choices are extremely powerful and enemies come in the form of regular cars, it really doesn’t matter which you choose. Either option is sure to annihilate tailing cars and helicopters with ease. Here’s a little tip to make your job even easier. There seems to be a glitch present in this activity. If you get a lock-on one of the vehicles at a long distance, the car spontaneously explodes before a rocket has even been fired a majority of the time. This was found in the PS3 version of the game and has only been tested on one copy so far.
Escort
Here’s a mode where the focus isn’t on the life of a fellow Saint. You’ll be the chauffeur for two people partaking in sexual activities in the backseat. Be sure to listen for instructions. The client may wish to stop at specific locations for greater excitement or may even demand that maneuvers be pulled off in the car, such as powerslides. Paparazzi will be tracking you down the entire time to try and take pictures of the goings on in the back of your car. Let the paparazzi view too much and you’ll have one unhappy client (and a failed activity). That’s not all. Escort has a variation just like Trail Blazing. Tiger Escort plays out similarly to a memorable scene from The Hangover. You’ll be swapping our shady clients for a full-grown, angry tiger. He’ll be riding shotgun. Drive fast, powerslide avoid hitting ANYTHING otherwise you’ll have a claw stuck through your face.
Snatch
The Saints need Hos, but they won’t just walk up to your safehouse and join. You’ll have to go take them from other gangs, liberate them from their pimps if you will. To do so, all you must do is drive to the designated point on the map and take out the enemies surrounding your soon-to-be hos. After eliminating your rivals, the promiscuous women should willingly jump into your car. Make sure you have a roomy car (look for 4-doors) since there are normally 2 or 3 hos to snatch. Drive the group on back and you’re done. Simple enough.
Mayhem
Here’s the activity that gave birth to Tank Mayhem. Armored military vehicles have been traded out for preselected weapons with unlimited ammunition. Run around in the specified area and shoot up/blow up everything in sight. It’ll rack up money which you’ll need to continue to obtain until the amount at the top of the screen has been reached. There isn’t much more to this mode than, well, causing mayhem.
Unfortunately, Septic Avenger isn’t amongst the list of returning activities. Who wouldn’t want to spray the rival territory in Steelport with a bunch of crap? Sigh… maybe Saints Row 4 will resurrect this odd pastime activity for the purple gang. Anyways, moving on. You’ll want to check out the next guide where I detail the diversions that are hiding throughout Steelport.