The Splatters (XBLA) Review

The idea of the game is rather simple: die with style. You take control of little creatures aptly called “Splatters”. These characters are simply forever smiley little blobs of what appears to be paint. You play through levels while clearing out the bombs placed around the area.

The Splatters seems like the ideal game for those who want to have some fun and enjoy some cartoon violence, but is it? Let’s see what’s HOT and what’s NOT in our review of The Splatters.

HOT

Fun, Upbeat Music
One of the best qualities that stood out to me while playing through The Splatters was the music. Whether or not I was actually liking anything else, the music always seemed well placed and created. While maintaining subtlety, the music still was just as fun and quirky as the game was intended to be.

Graphics
Although it isn’t the most revolutionary game ever created, it still looks pretty good. Even in the vast simplicity of it all, the various colored Splatters are also pretty nifty looking. From squishing and squashing into walls, to compressing on slides for speed, it is clear that a certain level of detail went into the little blobs. While the levels being recycled shortly after they’re first viewed is expected, they’re still pretty cool at first. Some are less interesting than others, but many are pretty cool in design as a whole.

NOT

Boring
From the beginning of levels 1-3, I already did not think very highly of the game. Though it may seem entertaining for the first few launches, it gets old rather quickly. When it comes down to it, The Splatters feels like the retarded fish frog offspring of Angry Birds and PAIN. This may appeal to some at first thought, but is actually quite awful. Similar to Angry Birds, you get new abilities as you progress, but this game’s abilities are actually very lackluster and basic.

Although the game flows pretty well and runs nicely, this still doesn’t seem to make a difference. When it comes down to entertainment value, The Splatters is definitely lacking. If you simply aren’t that great of a player and want to see other great players at work, you can tune into some good ol’ Splatter TV. There might be some brief appeal, but the majority of the videos will get old pretty quickly.

Controls
While these aren’t necessarily the worst, there are certainly things that can mess up a good run if you don’t get them just right. They are fairly simple, but the fact that they have to be executed within a small window of time makes them a bit tedious. When doing things such as the airstrike, you must not launch your Splatter too hard or too light, or you will not be able to pull off the move. While at times the controls could be a pain, a plus was that there never seemed to be a problem with the input if done correctly.

Replayability Level
Depending on what type of player you are, you will either get a lot or a little replay value. For the player who likes to perfect their runs, and find new ways to play, The Splatters can be an incredible game to play. Although for most other players, the game will not last very long. A nice point of the game is the variation. If you simply want to give the game a play through in each of the available modes, gameplay is always different. Even in the event of replaying a previous level, following a previous method will still give a cool new result.

No Story
I could be wrong, and I may simply be overlooking it, but I don’t see a story anywhere here. The game is broken up into three categories: combo nation, become a talent, and master shots. All are quite self-explanatory, but just in case clarification is needed, look no further. Become a talent mode is probably the first mode which you will play when you begin. In this mode, you will unlock some tactics like the air strike or the ballistic. As well as learning some cool moves, you will learn how you should play the game.

Following the previous mode, you can either choose to play the combo nation mode, or the master shots mode. Master shots sees you pull off shots while doing specific moves like the airstrike. This is rather boring as most levels already require the player to use most of their unlocked techniques when they go through. Onto combo nation; I must have saved the best for last, right? Combo nation’s objective is just as clear as the overall objective of the game: achieve large combos. There isn’t a whole lot to the combo nation mode, and is similar to any ‘high score’ type game mode in any game.

Verdict

The Splatters is a below average Xbox Live Arcade game that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone. While blunt, it is how I feel about the game at the end of the day. It makes me feel bad ragging on a game that is a first for a developer, but the way that the game plays out, it’s the only opinion I can give for it. While the game has a partially redeeming quality or two, they are considerably overshadowed by the NOTs.

[Editor’s Note: The Splatters was reviewed on the Xbox 360. The game was provided to us by the publisher for review purposes.]

5 thoughts on “The Splatters (XBLA) Review

  1. Wow your sad. Sure the game isnt the game of the century but I dont think it deserves a 4. I realized that you aren’t the smartest man around when you wrote that the game is both fun and boring.
    And about the controls its sound like you having problems with basic functions.
    You wrote this review as if the game meant to be a GOTY and it failed you (or a more realistic situation you failed it) its an XBLA game that meant for passing time and the concept looks great!
    SO STFU YOU F*CKER and retire from reviewing, you are bad at this.

  2. Also the fact that you are the only one who gave it below 7 as oppose to better reviewers from a bit better websites (IGN 8 GS 7 DESTRUCTIOD 9 and more) shows your incompetence when its related to games.

  3. @ “ME”

    Come the end of the day, reviews are just opinions. My favorite game on the PSN, Minna de Spelunker was both PRAISED (scoring 9 and even a 10) and HATED (scoring in the 2 area). It’s main problem was that people found it “too hard”, so it scored low. While the game is completely manageable, plus others like Demon Souls not only get a pass for it, but praised… it can get annoying. However, in the end you want reviews on both sides of the spectrum over universal praise.
    A lot of reviewers and users who like a genre will overlook problems or not experience issues new comers might face. They also help you to find the line between fact and fiction. Find the common elements between the two, to see what is the same and such.

  4. Your actually complaining it has no story? Seriously? Did tetris have a story? Thats how ridiculous it is that you bring up story in this game.
    It’s like complaining that Call of Duty doesnt have Cowboys, Aliens or Victorian gentlemen in it (wait, they will probably be in the next game tbh… ).

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